Friday, April 15, 2005

**STUDY HARD GAL**

This sem passes faster than i expected... january was slow... but feb onwards was far too fast than it shld be.... too many events took place.... first was Chinese New year.. next granny was admitted to hospital... den she pass away suddenly... den her funeral.... den her wake.... den her first seventh day.. den her second... third... fourth... fifth... this coming sun... sixth.... guess time really past faster than i thought....

but seriously, though i kind of spent my time unwisely.. but i guess i am studying harder than the past few sems.... hope i get the results i need... ^_^

haha... now i'm in E2... waiting for MY to pass me my popular card.... going to the Chinese library soon i guess.... haha.... STUDY HARD GAL!!!!

CherrieminT

Thursday, April 07, 2005

**A world of my own**

was looking at my organiser this afternoon... realised that i dun have much time till exams.. and i have yet to start revision.... **worried**

also realised that i been living in a world of my own lately... always 'day-dream' seem to have lost contact with the world, the reality, my friends and of course my sch work.... called carol to complain some stuff... after talking to her, i realised it's really some time ever since i catch up with my friends, go out and have fun...

over the past few weeks or mth... i realised i was nt happy... nt a moment of true happiness.... no matter how hard i try to recall... i really cant think of anything that makes me smile or laugh from the bottom of my heart... all i've recollected were the miserable reality of the 'departure' of granny... really hope to take a break... travel to places i wanted to go... some places where i can find peace and also happiness...
i dun mind a world of my own... just as long as it's a sunny world....

CherrieminT

Monday, April 04, 2005

That day won't come....

I made a trip to clinic straight after my class just now. Forgotten to return Dr Heng's keys ysterday.... Wont be working for at least a mth... so got no choice but to made this trip.... After returning the keys, i went to Value dollar shop just above the clinic... Thought of just 'window shop' but saw them selling pots of fake flowers.... if granny is ard and if she sees these.. she will love them... den i decided that i get a pot of flowers for granny... decided to bring it to the cementary with me when we go and pray granny a visit on her 100th day.... as usual, i took a bus home (**i've gt bus concession** >_<) on bus... i was flipping through my feedback lecture notes.... apparently my eyes were nt on them.... i was looking out of the windows and day-dream... i cant really recall what was running through my mind... at a pt of time... my tears were flowing down... haiz... thought of ranny again... i really miss her... sometimes i still cant believe that she left us... It's really hard for us to accept the reality... haiz.... i always thought that she will definitely outlive many of her friends.... live to see me get myself a bf.. get married... have children.... but i guess that day wont come....

CherrieminT

Friday, April 01, 2005

I hOpe it's aLL an april fooL joke...

It's been 3 weeks since granny left... i am still trying to learn to live a life without her.... no one to talk to when i am stressed up by both exams and friends....

dear ppl.... please bare with me if i am really speaking more than i shld... apparentally, i always had someone to share secrets with.. someone to share my thoughts and my mood with... but i lost her...
i know i shld really, or somehow, lead a happy life.. cherish life more than ever... but it just seems tat i cannot manage... perhaps i am too dependent... like wat i said in the beginning of this year... i was to be an independent gal.... but everything seems so hard to achieve... i am born like that... at least... i really got no idea how to change.... life is really miserable...

when i initially set up this blog... i name it a whole new world in a positive manner... bearing in mind my new resolution that is to lead whole new wonderful years ahead.... i didnt mean in that manner where i have to encounter the sadness of losing someone so close to me....

i ask ann if i can self-declared that granny pamper me the most.... she say of course.... i really miss her... i hope she could use her hands and brush through my hair again... apply medicated oil on me when i am down with diarrhoea/stomachache.... i really hope she can touch me again.... to pamper me and dote me to the core... to talk to me... to cheer me up when i get my stupid results of my tests.... *manage to scrap through for stupid feedback test* if she around.. she will sure tell me that pass can aready... it's okie....

this morning i went to buy my breakfast at the coffeeshop downstairs... i saw granny's kopi kaki.. the crowd looks weird without her.... lesser ppl... less merry... how i wish she's there.... sitting there asking if i need breakfast... asking what time will i be home.... having lunch or dinner at home.... haiz.... i really want her to be back and ask me all these qns...

pls tell me that she is just staying over at aunt's hse.. and will be back real soon....

---hw i wish all these are really an april fool joke.... ---

CherrieminT