Friday, April 01, 2005

I hOpe it's aLL an april fooL joke...

It's been 3 weeks since granny left... i am still trying to learn to live a life without her.... no one to talk to when i am stressed up by both exams and friends....

dear ppl.... please bare with me if i am really speaking more than i shld... apparentally, i always had someone to share secrets with.. someone to share my thoughts and my mood with... but i lost her...
i know i shld really, or somehow, lead a happy life.. cherish life more than ever... but it just seems tat i cannot manage... perhaps i am too dependent... like wat i said in the beginning of this year... i was to be an independent gal.... but everything seems so hard to achieve... i am born like that... at least... i really got no idea how to change.... life is really miserable...

when i initially set up this blog... i name it a whole new world in a positive manner... bearing in mind my new resolution that is to lead whole new wonderful years ahead.... i didnt mean in that manner where i have to encounter the sadness of losing someone so close to me....

i ask ann if i can self-declared that granny pamper me the most.... she say of course.... i really miss her... i hope she could use her hands and brush through my hair again... apply medicated oil on me when i am down with diarrhoea/stomachache.... i really hope she can touch me again.... to pamper me and dote me to the core... to talk to me... to cheer me up when i get my stupid results of my tests.... *manage to scrap through for stupid feedback test* if she around.. she will sure tell me that pass can aready... it's okie....

this morning i went to buy my breakfast at the coffeeshop downstairs... i saw granny's kopi kaki.. the crowd looks weird without her.... lesser ppl... less merry... how i wish she's there.... sitting there asking if i need breakfast... asking what time will i be home.... having lunch or dinner at home.... haiz.... i really want her to be back and ask me all these qns...

pls tell me that she is just staying over at aunt's hse.. and will be back real soon....

---hw i wish all these are really an april fool joke.... ---

CherrieminT